Sometimes life has a tendency to gum up the works. The works being our inner knowing, our basic instinct, our capacity to follow the natural flow of our life-affirming energy. I suppose if life were meant to be a cake walk, we'd all be 300 pounds, unabashedly eating our cake and as happy as ignorant clams.
I was in my 40's before I realized I had the power of choice to change the course of things in my life. I could try something and if it didn't go as planned, I could always make the decision to change my mind. A friend pointed that out to me. It had never occured to me that I could so easily change course because somewhere along the way I believed I had to stay committed and see things through, whether it be a destructive family situation, an unhealthy relationship, a toxic work environment. I didn't want to be seen as a quitter, as someone who gave up without a good fight. I didn't want to be labeled unreliable or disloyal. People who know me would never jump to those conclusions, but I always did, and it unnecesarily kept me in situations not meant for me longer than I needed to be. I'm sure that desire to stay is rooted in my early history, watching a family struggle with poverty, substance abuse and secrets, unknowingly having it be woven into the fabric of my young psyche. Unknowingly, causing me to assume the role of nurturer, protector, and caregiver ironically while all of my own basic needs went unmet.
Life can be as simple or as complicated as we make it. But, I have learned that when we choose to listen to the inner beatings of our very own hearts, discard all the distractions and follow what's true for us, it really can clear the path to better things. It can be that simple. When we dare to choose differently and not fall back into our creature comforts, the roles we assume we're destined to play, the right things can show up at just the very moment when we're open and ready to receive them. Choosing differently respects and honors the self in the most beautiful way imaginable. It doesn't fight against a current of misgivings. In contrast, it can shine a light on the truth and take things from vague and uncertain to factual and real. Clearing the brush and the overgrowth helps.
So just as they say to heed the physical warnings our bodies may send us when something is on the verge of going haywire, I say, pay close attention to the internal rumblings of your soul. That muck can build up quickly if we let it, and plaster up our very essence and interfere with the paths we could be taking. Choice without attachment to assumption, uncertainty, doubt, and fear is simple. Trust that. Bless and thank the past, but my Dear Ones, always know that choice is there when you stir awake in the morning and kiss the day farewell at dusk. Listen to the stirrings and don't waste another precious minute of this miraculous life you've been given. The world needs more of us not to.